I’m so sorry… 

I dumped my boyfriend because I wasn’t happy and of course the fact that I wanted to be with someone else. We agreed to still be friends but its killing me to feel like I’m never going to be happy with anyone. I want to be with someone so bad and then when I’m with them it all feels like I’m so uncomfortable, like I don’t want to be there, I don’t want them to touch me or to look at me. I don’t know whats wrong with me. It was a shock to all my friends, they didn’t see it coming because I hardly tell them anything anymore, even the two people I tell everything to didn’t know until the day it happened. All this stress… I can’t wait until January… 

So my friend is going to come over on the break and he and I close, I really liked him for a long time last year and I’m pretty much over it now, since he started going out with this girl that he was really in love with. I was happy for him and moved on. And then she broke his heart, that was a big mistake. Then she fought with him all the time, it wasn’t enough for her. I wanted to scream at her, you can not do that to him, how the hell could he deserve this? He missed alot of school, I didn’t know they had really broken up until a week after, he got really depressed hes lost 20 - 25 pounds in the past three weeks.. I can’t watch this happen, I guess I still love him but not as much as before, not in that way more in a very protective friend way. I just want to make him stop hurting.. Hopefully when he comes over to hang out he’ll feel a bit better…

Hey I’m Alexa. This is just a blog to vent on and such.. so if you want to please stay with me.